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The Best Place for Fun - Blonde Jokes Page 1.

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city.  Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.  He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her room wondering what happened.  She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.  "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.  She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.  A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it, and slammed it shut again.  Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail.”


Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.  "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."  The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

  Junior shook his head and laughed.  "Isn't that just like a blonde, we ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.  She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.  Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."


A blonde walks into the library.  She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!"  "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.  She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is angry; she opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief.  She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it."  The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."


During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:

GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix

When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."


There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.

The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stopped to rest for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"


A blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land.  When she came to a fork in the road, she saw a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so she turned the car around and went home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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