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The Best Place for Fun - Blonde Jokes Page 2.

A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump.  "The blonde replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.

The brunette says,  "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then."  "No, you have to take it," says the blonde.

"I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway.  As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver,  "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.  "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driver's license.

The motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it.  She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home, officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?"  The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop,  "All I have is this picture of myself."  The cop says, "Let me see it, then."  So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over.  You can go now."

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.  She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.  Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.  While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.  She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted,  "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"  The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest.  Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"  Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.  Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.  She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.  Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.  The shopkeeper watches in amazement.  Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store.  He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.  Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him.  But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help.  She obliged him and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling,  "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God!  Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that!  I got the license plate number!"

A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said,  "I would like a cheeseburger."

The librarian replied, "Shh! This is a library!"  The blonde blushed. "oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger."

A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde.  He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'








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