The Best Place for
Fun - Blonde Jokes Page 2.
A blonde and brunette were
watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was
about a man about ready to jump off a
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "
I bet you $50 the man is going to jump. "The
blonde replies, "Okay you're on." Sure
enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives
the brunette $50.
The brunette says, "I can't accept this
money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw
the man jump then." "No, you have to take
it," says the blonde.
"I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I
didn't think he would do it again."
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car
on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he
was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull
over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A blonde cop stops a
blonde motorist and asks for her driver's license.
The motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to
the cop, "I must have left it at home, officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The
motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of
myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist
gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well,
if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled
you over. You can go now."
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for
two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to
a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she
has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to
accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh
at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against
a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into
the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks
later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we
checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park
my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be
there when I return?"
Finally... a smart blonde joke.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was
very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one
of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and
catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable
price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe
you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the
blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the
young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just
then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort
hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the
dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the
blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out,
"Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Oscar drove his brand new
Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods
store. He parked it outside and went
in to do a little perusing with Jan, his
regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty
blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store,
she happily greeted him. But he
requested to look around alone today before
he needed her help. She obliged him
and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to
him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw
someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that!
I got the license plate number!"
A blonde went in the library and walked up to the
librarian behind the desk and said, "I would like a cheeseburger."
The librarian replied, "Shh! This is a library!" The blonde blushed.
"oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger."
A blonde went to buy a pizza and after
ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into
six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told
her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker
She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'