IF ... A vacuum really sucks! Is it good?
IF ... A word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
IF ... Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
IF ... Work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
IF ... All the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
IF ... Love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
IF ... You are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
IF ... con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
IF ... You are "expecting the unexpected", doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
ONLY IN AMERICA ... are all the back-pain relievers on the bottom shelf.
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