A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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