crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his
firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm
sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
A 50-year-old lawyer who had been
practicing since he was 25 years old died and arrived at the pearly
gates of heaven. The lawyer said to St. Peter, "I am surprised I died so
young. I was very active and always ate well. And I'm only 50 years
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A doctor and a lawyer got into a car accident, on a small
country road. The lawyer had figured that nobody else would be
on the road, and had raced through a stop sign. The doctor, on a
cross street, had no time to react and couldn't have missed the
lawyer if he had tried. Fortunately, neither driver was hurt.
lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable,
in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains, there's
a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of
regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of
lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce.
The tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and a dishonest lawyer
are in the same room. There is a $500 bill on a table in the room. When
they leave, the money is gone. Who took it?
How do you tell if it is really cold outside?
presented his customer, a lawyer, with a bill charging rates
of $500 an hour.
telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that
he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide
eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
What do lawyers use for birth control?
What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
stranded on a desert island with Attila the Hun, Adolf
Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a gun but only two bullets.
What do you do?
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