The Best Place for
Fun - Medical Jokes Page 2.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on
stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first
kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that
done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up
they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I
couldn't walk for a year!"
"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York
have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they
will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon
as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me, I just can't stop my hands
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really, I spill most of it!"
Dan kept going to the eye doctor because his eye hurt
and the doctor finally discovered his problem. The Doc told him,
"Your eye hurts when you drink tea, so stop drinking tea."
Dan stuttered, "But I love tea."
The doctor replied, "Okay, you can drink tea as long as you take the spoon out
of the cup."
Patient: "Doctor, every time I eat fruit I get this
strange urge to give people all my money."
Doctor: "Would you like an apple or a banana?"
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It
was discovered that he had a
cavity that would have to be filled. "Now,
young man," asked the dentist,
"what kind of filling would you like for
"Chocolate, please," replied the
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man
leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the
clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once."
"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.
"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look
at him. He’s afraid to cough."
couple is sitting on a park bench. On the other side
of the park are vendors selling all types of food. The wife turns to hubby
and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone."
Hubby replies, "Well, I'll
go get you one."
The wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down."
He says, "No I won't; what do you want?"
She says, "Get me a strawberry
cone with chocolate sprinkles."
He replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with
chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember."
Several hours pass and, finally, he returns.
The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost."
He says, "No, and I got what you wanted."
She opens the bag to
discover a cheeseburger and fries?! She says, "I knew you you should have
written the order down."
He says, "What do you mean, everything is there?"
To which the wife replies, "No, it's not, look, you forgot the pickles."
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two
"Is this her first child?" the doctor
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her