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The Best Place for Fun - Medical Jokes Page 2.

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"


"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"


"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me, I just can't stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?"

"Not really, I spill most of it!"


Dan kept going to the eye doctor because his eye hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem.  The Doc told him, "Your eye hurts when you drink tea, so stop drinking tea."

Dan stuttered, "But I love tea."

The doctor replied, "Okay, you can drink tea as long as you take the spoon out of the cup."


Patient: "Doctor, every time I eat fruit I get this strange urge to give people all my money."

Doctor: "Would you like an apple or a banana?"


A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"

"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.


The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.

"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once."

"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.

"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."


An elderly couple is sitting on a park bench.  On the other side of the park are vendors selling all types of food.  The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone."

Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one."

The wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down."

He says, "No I won't; what do you want?"

She says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles."

He replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles.  See, I'll remember."

Several hours pass and, finally, he  returns.

The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost."

He says, "No, and I got what you wanted."

She opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?!  She says, "I knew you you should have written the order down."

He says, "What do you mean, everything is there?"

To which the wife replies, "No, it's not, look, you forgot the pickles."


A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

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