The Best Place for
Fun - Sports Jokes Page 2.
A good friend of mine, living in northern
Michigan, decided to go ice fishing. He gathered up
all of his tackle and moved out on the ice. He
started to auger a hole in the ice when he heard a
voice boom out from above:
'There are no fish here!'
He thought for a few
moments, gathered up his stuff, then moved a little
farther down the ice. He started to auger a new hole
in the ice when he heard the voice boom out from
'There are no fish here!'
So, he gathered up his stuff again, moved a little
farther down the ice, then started to auger another
hole in the ice. Again he heard the voice boom out
'I said, there are no fish here!'
He sheepishly asked, "Is that you god?"
To which the booming voice replied, "No, I'm the
Negotiations between union members and
their employer were at an impasse. The
union denied that their workers were
flagrantly abusing their contractís
One morning at
the bargaining table, the companyís
chief negotiator held aloft the morning
edition of the newspaper, "This man," he
announced, "Called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of
the supposedly ill employee, who had
just won a local golf tournament with an
The silence in the room was broken by
a union negotiator. "Wow," he said.
"Think of what kind of score he could
have had if he hadnít been sick!"
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he
asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other
for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than
normal and very tired.
"Bad day at the course?" his wife
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a
heart attack and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the
ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of
the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What
team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so
I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If
your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
"Good morning, doctor."
"Good morning. What's the trouble?"
"My shins, doctor. Look."
"Good heavens. They're all hacked to pieces. Looks
as if everyone's been kicking you. What have you
been playing soccer or rugby?"
A beginner sliced his tee shot into
the woods, then hit into a few trees,
then proceeded to hit across the fairway
into more woods. Finally, after
banging away several more times, he
proceeded to hit into a sand trap.
the while, heíd noticed that the club
professional had been watching.
"What club should I use now?" he
asked the pro.
"I donít know," the pro replied.
"What game are you playing?"
A doctor advises a middle management executive to start
exercising; so he decides to play tennis.
After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's
"It's going fine," the manager says. "When I'm on
the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain
immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net!
Smash! Go back!'"
"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks.
"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'"
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a
telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the
coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a
shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well,
sir," he said, "if I can swallow
it, I can probably pass it."