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The Best Place for Fun - Sports Jokes Page 2.

A good friend of mine, living in northern Michigan, decided to go ice fishing.  He gathered up all of his tackle and moved out on the ice.  He started to auger a hole in the ice when he heard a voice boom out from above:

'There are no fish here!'

He thought for a few moments, gathered up his stuff, then moved a little farther down the ice.  He started to auger a new hole in the ice when he heard the voice boom out from above:

'There are no fish here!'

So, he gathered up his stuff again, moved a little farther down the ice, then started to auger another hole in the ice.  Again he heard the voice boom out from above:

'I said, there are no fish here!'

He sheepishly asked, "Is that you god?"

To which the booming voice replied, "No, I'm the rink manager"

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse.  The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contractís sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the companyís chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in sick yesterday!"  There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.  "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadnít been sick!"

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.  Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired.

"Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.

"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."

"Oh, that's awful!"

"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans.  All of the hands go up except for one student.

"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"

"The Red Sox."

"Why's that?"

"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."

"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"

"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

"Good morning, doctor."

"Good morning. What's the trouble?"

"My shins, doctor. Look."

"Good heavens. They're all hacked to pieces. Looks as if everyone's been kicking you. What have you been playing soccer or rugby?"


A beginner sliced his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into more woods.  Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap.

All the while, heíd noticed that the club professional had been watching.

"What club should I use now?" he asked the pro.

"I donít know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"

A doctor advises a middle management executive to start exercising; so he decides to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the manager says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'"

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.

"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.

"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

"Of course I can run," said the freshman.  He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."







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